How to Pet a Cat, The Complete Hands-On Guide by Peter Farrow
This book is about how to overcome your cat's Tactile Deficiency (TD) caused by neglect (lack of proper petting), and I mean the proper ways to pet a cat so that it is completely satisfied. The book describes how to recognize TD and use various stroking methods such as the blades, the occiput, drubbing, the socket, jowling, ruffing, puddling, the swipple and many others to give your feline the love it needs. Apparently, more than 90% of all cats suffer in silence from the lack of a satisfying tactile relationship with their owners (servants). So don't ignore your pet and get to it.